What looks like half a cat?
The other half!

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
She had mittens!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot?
A carrot!

How do cats eat spaghetti?
The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!

What is a French cat's favourite pudding?
Chocolate mousse!

What do cat actors say on stage?
Tabby or not tabby!

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
I'm paw!

How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold?
He has cat-arrh!

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
She's got that down in the mouth look!

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out a night!

What do you do with a blue Burmese?
Try and cheer it up a bit!

What is the cat's favourite TV show?
The evening mews!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs!

How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!

What noise does a cat make going down the highway?
Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

What do you get if cross a cat with a canary?
Shredded tweet!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A catastrophe!

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A cat-a-logue!

What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
An octopuss!

Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!